Another Fing mess
by Jerus
Summary: Harry goes insane and hermione and ron shag like theres no tommorow but with the madness going on around them whos to say there will be?


Title: Harry Potter and the Lotus of Insanity  
  
Summary: Harry Hermione and Ron end up in strange world where everythings out to kill them how will they survive.  
  
to answer your other question: this is the closest think to a Fing mess you'll find.  
  
The air around them was shimmering silver it was incredibly hot and the   
  
three 2nd years looked around for some sign of where they were.  
  
Ron: I don't think were in hogwarts anymore.  
  
Hermione: Think of that on your own you twit?  
  
Ron: Don't start with me you harlot.  
  
Harry: can you two stop the sodding arguing and find out where the bloody hell we are?  
  
Ron and Hermione: yes glorious leader  
  
Harry turned his back and Ron pounced on Hermione and they began ripping at each others clothes.  
  
Harry: Aha i do believe were being teleported and we'll soon be at our destination.  
  
Ron was to busy making hot sweaty magic monkey love to Hermione, to respond.  
  
Suddenly the shimmering stopped and they were in a dark graveyard.  
  
Harry: What the blo....  
  
He was cut off by an arrow narrowly missing his head.  
  
He leapt to the side and looked around and saw a blonde woman with a crossbow.  
  
Blonde: you better duck.  
  
Harry did so and a vampire who was behind him turned to dust.  
  
Hermione's head came up.  
  
Hermione: good job.  
  
Then she went back to kissing and Fing Ron.  
  
Harry held out his hand.  
  
Harry: i'm Harry Potter and these are my friends Ron and Hermione.  
  
The blonde took it and shook it.  
  
Blonde: i'm buffy summers.  
  
Harry grinned as he stared at her chest.  
  
Buffy: Pervert.  
  
She smacked him sending him flying into a crypt.  
  
Ron and Hermione stood up starkers holding signs that said 10 then went back to shagging.  
  
Harry came back out.  
  
Harry: you fucked with the wrong person you bloody whore. AVADA KEDAVRA  
  
He pointed his wand at buffy and a blast came out flying toward her.  
  
suddenly a voice came from out of nowhere.  
  
VOON[voice out of nowhere}:Kaiana!  
  
A barrier formed in front of buffy shielding her as willow ran to her side.  
  
Harry: OH bollox can this get any worse?  
  
A chainsaw caused everyone to turn and they saw Ash standing there.  
  
Ash: Groovy!  
  
Ash tried to deliver a chainsaw blow to harry but Buffy kicked him.  
  
Harry backed off into the crypt grinning. Hermione and Ron were rolling along behind him.  
  
Suddenly they were falling Ron and Hermione landed in a bush. Harry landed in the middle of the road.  
  
Harry: Where are we now?  
  
VOON: I'm Sailor moon and in the name of the moon kingdom we the sailor scouts will punish you.  
  
Harry: Oh bloody hell.  
  
Ron and Hermione looked terrified then they went back to shagging.  
  
Goku: And we the protectors of earth will destroy you  
  
Goku:KameHame..  
  
Krillan:Destructo...  
  
Yamcha:Wolf Fang...  
  
Vegeta:Final...  
  
Serena:Moon tiara...  
  
Ami:Shine Aqua...  
  
Rei:Mars Celestial fireball....  
  
All:Ha,Disk,Fist,Flash,Action,Illusion,Ignite.  
  
All the attacks slammed into the three hogwarts students then when the dust cleared it could be seen  
  
Harry curled up sobbing Ron and Hermione still going at it like Riley and Buffy.   
  
3 figure in cloaks were standing with wands raised which had shielded them from attack through off the hoods to reveal.  
  
Neville longbottom ,Colin Creevey, and Ginny Weasely.  
  
Ron:Ginny!  
  
Ginny:Ron!  
  
Hermione:Neville!  
  
Random voice:Brad!  
  
Author:This isnt RHPS.  
  
Random voice: Sorry!  
  
Ginny: Yes here we are the true favorites of the harry potter world and were going to lay the smackdown on you freaks.  
  
Suddenly background music started playing "Were not gonna take it".   
  
As the three proceeded to blast the others into oblivion. Harry stood up arrogantly.  
  
Harry: Yes well done loyal servants.  
  
Ginny turned with an cruel smile to him.  
  
Ginny: Your my servant boy.  
  
She pulled out a whip and began whipping him repeatedly.  
  
The END....or is it.  
  
Nope.  
  
6 days later at school.  
  
Harry was laying on his stomache with whip marks on his back while Hermione and Ron were once again doing  
  
horizontal tango.  
  
Harry: Bloody hell lets watch a tape.  
  
He put in a blank tape in the vcr they had smuggled up into the dorm room and turned on the tv they had also smuggled.  
  
A really bad independent film came on with a ring of light dead horses and psycho sht.  
  
Harry:What was that?  
  
Suddenly a phone rang.  
  
A person sitting beside him turned and said.  
  
Person: How'd a phone get in here?  
  
Harry: Smuggled.  
  
Person: Ah!  
  
Harry: Who are you?  
  
Person: I'm Jerus a self insertion character who falls for ginny and i'm the author too.  
  
Harry: oh right.  
  
With that Jerus left and Harry stood up and began walking. he opened his door and came face to face with Washu.  
  
Harry: Oh hello Washu do you know whats going on?  
  
Washu: Your not in your right dimension i can get you there just do as i say.  
  
Suddenly a bullet went through her and mihoshi stood there.  
  
Mihoshi: this is indeed a disturbing dimension.  
  
The door slammed and suddenly Van Halen started playing and Harry was in Snapes class.  
  
Cho was spreading on Snapes desk singing Hot For Teacher to him.  
  
Harry:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
He ran screaming into a closet.  
  
VID {Voice in Darkness}:Man its dark.  
  
Harry: Lumos.  
  
His wand lit up revealing Elton John with a ruby sword.  
  
Harry leapt out of the closet and slammed it shut.  
  
Spike spiegel walked by Harry smoking a ciggarette.  
  
Harry opened another door and saw Ron and Hermione still going at it while Alfonso Curazon was taping them.  
  
Harry:AAHH!!!! What is going on?!!  
  
Suddenly a large bunny appeared.  
  
Bunny: You know what you must do.  
  
Harry pulled out a giant Q Tip and jammed it at you the reader.  
  
You push the Qtip back at him and he then teleported to the Authors throne room.  
  
Harry:Your behind this?  
  
On the throne Jerus sat with ginny at his feet as well as Mihoshi, Sasami, Ami, and Hyatt who was perfectly healthy.  
  
Jerus: You damn moron i let you know this earlier. now face my final minion Draco....  
  
Draco fell through the door with a blue haired girl making passionate love to him.  
  
Jerus: Dammit Becca stop manhandling the minions.  
  
Suddenly Harry lunged at him but he typed up a sentence and harry fell on his ass.  
  
Jerus: Your Dead now. come forth my most powerful minion!  
  
The floor cracked and up came Megane 6.7/Anarkist fusion.  
  
Fusion: I Will destroy you and MST you.  
  
He fired a blast but it was absorbed by a mysterious figure. when the smoke cleared the figure revealed to be Vanessa.  
  
Jerus: Shit I thought you'd forget me!  
  
Vanessa: I could never forget you and with an arrow shot the computer and author was destroyed all universes were  
  
and everything seemed normal except in hermione's womb a baby was growing and on his neck was a ? mark.  
  
To be continued?  
  
You bet your white ass! 


End file.
